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Monday Morning…

By Mum's the Word on January 12, 2013 in All About ME!, Family, Parenting

I think, until I sat down to write this, I didn’t quite realise the enormity of what’s happening next week. As of Monday, our lives change completely.

Monday is the day that I start my new job.

I know I worked up until April of last year, but that was three days a week, 9.30 til 2.30. It fitted around Sausage’s nursery and I had four full days a week to spend with my girl. My new job is 34 hours a week, 9.30 til 5.30 (except Fridays when I finish at 4.30), which means I get to drop Sausage at school and by the time I get home I won’t have seen her for nearly 9 hours. That’s a LONG time for me to spend away from her. I’m not even going to start talking about the guilt or I’ll never stop.

The thing is, I realise I’m very lucky. A lot of people simply can’t afford to go back to work as even with an extra income they still won’t have enough to cover childcare. Because Husband works from home, he’s able to collect Sausage from school which means we won’t need any childcare. And quite frankly, in the current financial climate*, I’m lucky to have found a job at all, let alone one that pays decent wages and is flexible enough to let me come in after I drop my kid off at school.

I’m excited about my new job, I’m ‘Payroll Manager’ now, as opposed to ‘clerk’ or ‘assistant’ and once the lady who’s training me has retired in April, I’ll be running the whole department. It’s a great opportunity for me and my ten-odd years of experience in the same field are finally paying off, in title and pay rise.

But I still have a sinking feeling. A bit like what it must be like for those ‘celebs’ (I use that term with the full quotient of irony that it deserves) on that diving show ‘Splash’. Standing on the edge of the high-diving board, toes dangling over the edge, waiting to jump and not knowing what it’s going to feel like when they hit the water.

We’ve been lucky (there’s that word again…) since Sausage was born, I’ve been able to stay at home, do some social media work to keep me in extravagant Barry M nail varnish purchases (it’s like a sickness, honestly) and generally take things easy. I feel like my life is about to kick up a notch and involve a whole lot more rushing round than I’ve been used to since, well, since before I buggered off to Asia and got married. But that’s a story for a different day.

I’m sure I’ll be updating you all on how things are going, but for now, I’m going to climb down off the diving board and try to relax before Monday morning, when I become a fully-fledged Working Mum.

Wish me luck!

*Is anyone else sick to the back teeth of sentences which contain the phrase ‘in the current financial climate’? YAWN.

Comments { 11 }

Weight Loss, Body Shape, Blah, Blah, Blah…

By Mum's the Word on December 30, 2012 in All About ME!, Happiness, Health, Weightloss.

It’s an age-old debate that’s probably gone back for longer than we can imagine; the back-and-forth that surrounds what is considered to be aesthetically pleasing in a woman. For most of my life, it’s been targeted at fashion magazines and the media in general for touting ‘as-skinny-as-possible’ as the ‘ideal’. I’ve seen many a story about how this designer or that designer is using walking skeletons in their runways shows and how we’re creating generations of kids who refuse to eat.

Just recently, I’ve noticed social media getting in on the act with several photos doing the rounds concerning body shape and body image. Here’s a couple of them:

The image on the left is being posted with captions like “I wish I lived in a time when this was attractive” and the photo on the right speaks for itself. Another example of this latest trend is the focus on actresses such as Christina Hendricks who, if you don’t already know, looks like this:

The lady in the top left and Christina Hendricks are both gorgeous, there’s no denying it. But, do people really think that this is in ANY WAY more achievable than the skinny girls at top right? Let me tell you this – it’s not. Both of these women are voluptuous but that’s not down to diet or exercise (okay, it might be a bit down to diet and exercise). What you’re seeing here is GENETICS. Do you know how rare it is to find a true hourglass figure? Christine Hendricks and the lady above are both blessed in that they both have an ample bosom and a round bottom. Neither carries any weight on their face and very little on their arms or mid-sections. Unless they both spend hours in the gym doing only arm exercises or sleep with a facial Slendertone on, it’s doubtful that they managed to do this on purpose.

Now, let’s talk about the skinny girls. How about, they’re just naturally skinny? Granted, the one in the middle is very thin, but there are people in the world who just are, no matter how much we bitch and moan about it. The problem here isn’t the fact that some people are skinny and some people are curvy, it’s the pedestals they’re placed on. I read recently that Christina Hendricks is so fed up with interviewers asking her about her body, that she actually has her assistant pre-warn them that she won’t answer any questions on the subject.

I haven’t seen any magazine stands in the past few days but I’d bet my last tenner that every single one aimed at women has a headline featuring some sort of ‘New Year, New You’ ‘How to Lose 15lb in 10 days’ diet and exercise plan, and I bet they’re all coupled with a photo of a 21-year-old model who’s been in hair, make up and styling for hours then airbrushed to within an inch of her life.

I supposed I’m thinking about all of this because I do have a lot of changes to make in the New Year. I need to lose a considerable amount of weight and, most importantly, I need to get healthy. But, no matter how hard I try, I’m not going to look like a 50′s pin-up. I’m not going to look like Christina Hendricks and I’m definitely not going to look like a runway model. I’m hopefully going to look like a slimmer, healthier version of me, a 28-year-old woman whose belly has carried a baby, whose hips have been used for balancing a toddler on, whose arms have lugged a million loads of washing, whose face has the beginnings of laughter lines and who would be happy just to be able to play netball again.

I’m not aiming for magazine perfection – I’m just aiming for a better version of me and I think if everyone did that and ignored the so-called ‘ideals’ we’d all be a lot happier.

Comments { 8 }

Ladies What Lunch – How Groupon Helped Two Mummies to Feel Yummy Again.

By Mum's the Word on November 29, 2012 in All About ME!, Friendship, Review

A few weeks ago, I got an email from Groupon asking if I wanted to review their service and being the affable gal that I am, I said “ooh, yes please!”. They offered me an amount to spend on the site and off I went to look for a product or experience that I’d like to try. I browsed for a while before happening upon a spa experience for two that was in my local area. Trouble was, it was more expensive than the amount that Groupon had offered, so I went back and told them and they said “That’s fine!”, which was a lovely thing for them to do! I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving of a spa day than my best friend, Jamillah, who as well as starting her new blog, Bare Beginnings this week, is a mum to three boys of three and under (who are just the scrummiest creatures) is studying for a degree and starting her own business!

The whole process was seriously simple. Groupon emailed me a voucher code, I went onto the site, purchased the deal I wanted with the voucher and waited for an email. Once the email arrived, I called the spa, set up the appointment and that was it! I didn’t even need to print the voucher off as I have the Groupon App on my iPhone, which shows ‘Your Groupons’ and allows you to extract the codes you need to give to the participating retailer.

This is actually the second time I’ve used Groupon, the first was a voucher that Husband bought for me for a massively reduced cut and colour at a local salon and I have to say, in terms of savings these vouchers work out really well. This package for the spa should have cost £170 but we got it for £46, which I think works out at 74% off. The vouchers would make a brilliant gift for Christmas as you could even book the appointment for the person and then just present them with an appointment card for their treatment.

The spa we chose is called Destination and is in the heart of Leigh Broadway, which is full of shops, cafes, bistros and bars, so there’s plenty of places in the close vicinity to make a real day of it. We handed in our coats and shoes and were given some cosy slippers to don, then walked through to the waiting area where we were sat down in comfy recliners with low lighting and gentle music while we filled in our treatment cards.

The treatment room itself, which we were then led through to, was beautiful; the ceiling was draped with purple fabric and the carpet was about a mile deep. There was a small fireplace which kept the room really toasty and even the treatment stations were in keeping with the relaxing atmosphere of the room, which earthy wooden bowls and interesting-looking brushes! We laid down and waited for the treatment to begin.

Our therapists came in and started the treatments, a facial and massage, and both Jamillah and I were virgins on that front before this day. It’s hard to know what to say here without using the words ‘rubbing’, ‘oils’ and ‘OH MY WOW!’ but basically, the most relaxing 45 minutes of our lives ensued. One thing we both commented on was that the music in the rooms wasn’t your usual wishy-washy whale song type thing which just starts to sound awful after a while. It was calm and relaxing but in a contemporary kind of way and there was something a but autumnal about it too which was very nice.

Once our time was up, it took us both a while to come back into the land of the living – I don’t think I’ve ever actually been that relaxed before without being asleep and the feeling was just incredible. The oils smelled so rich and delightful and my skin looked better than it has in years. In fact, it still looks pretty good, a few weeks on.

All in all, I think I can recommend both Groupon and Destination wholeheartedly. Jamillah and I have vowed that we’re going to make a more regular thing of taking the time to pamper ourselves so we’ll be keeping a close eye on all of the Groupon deals on offer in the future. Being able to spend time with my best friend in a truly relaxing environment like that was a true gift and I can’t thank Groupon enough for the opportunity to do it.

We were given a £50 voucher to spend on Groupon for the purposes of this review, but all opinions are my own and it no way influenced by any products or services offered.

Comments { 3 }

Living with Psoriasis

By Mum's the Word on November 14, 2012 in All About ME!, Health

I should probably preface this post by saying that although the patches of psoriasis I have are quite severe, I’m lucky enough to have it confined to a small part of my body and by no means suffer to the same degree as other people.

Have you ever had chicken pox? If you have, you’ll know what it’s like to have a relentless itch that drives you potty and is very hard to control your scratching impulses with. If you suffer with psoriasis, or many other skin conditions, that itch is worse than chicken pox, only it doesn’t go away after 5-7 days, it’s there all the time and is exacerbated by any number of internal and external factors.

I have psoriasis. It’s only on my feet and hands and occasionally my knees, but it really makes me miserable at times. If you’re squeamish, don’t read this next sentence – on more than one occasion, I’ve been absent-mindedly scratching my feet, only to look down and realise that my hand and foot are covered in blood. It’s difficult to explain to a person who’s never had it how strong that compulsion to scratch can be, how it’s possible to remove skin and go down to the flesh below, but trust me, it’s overpowering at times.

I’ve only has psoriasis for a few months – I have a family member who’s suffered all of her life more or less and I used to nag her. I’d say “you mustn’t use that brand of showergel!” or badger her into going to the doctors to see if there was a new cream or unguent he could give her to bring some relief and I could never understand her reluctance. Until now. See, with psoriasis, it’s never going to completely go away. You use the creams religiously but the only thing that’s really effective is strong steroids, which means that you can only use them for a limited amount of time before you need to give your body a break, so you use them, get rid of the patches, stop using the cream and it comes right back. It seems so utterly futile and I now completely understand my relative’s attitude, which I had thought was defiance but is actually just slightly sad resignation.

There are lots of types of psoriasis with lots of different causes which Wikipedia defines as such:

Psoriasis ( /s ə ˈ r aɪ .ə s ɨ s /) is an autoimmune disease that affects the skin. It occurs when the immune system mistakes the skin cells as a pathogen, and sends out faulty signals that speed up the growth cycle of skin cells. Psoriasis is not contagious.

In the summer, I spent a lot of time in flip-flops (as you do) and I did notice people checking out the patches of flaky skin. I mean, I get it, it’s not nice to look at but at the same time it’s not nice to have to cover up when it’s hot so I realised I was just going to have to put up with people’s looks. I can’t imagine what those looks must be like if the patches are all over your body, not just on your feet. People don’t think of a skin condition as being something serious, but in terms of how it makes you feel, even a minor case can have an impact on your mental state.

I spent summer looking at magazine covers proclaiming “GET SUMMER FEET IN FIVE EASY STEPS!” and I wondered on many an occasion if they had a section for me which involved chopping mine off and transplanting them with someone elses, someone’s who don’t crack, itch and bleed daily.

I suppose the reason I’m telling you all this is that I want you to know that if you see someone with psoriasis, yes, it probably does make them miserable, yes it probably itches like hell and yes, they can see you staring. Most importantly, NO, it’s not catching.

And as a lovely little book-end to the post, here’s a picture of my feet ON A GOOD DAY (notice areas of scab where I’ve scratched the layers of skin completely off) Nice, huh?

(Sausage just saw me uploading this picture and gagged. Actually, physically gagged.)

Comments { 1 }

Rejection Sucks

By Mum's the Word on November 9, 2012 in All About ME!, Anger, Depression, Family

Alternative title: Why I’d Like to Close the Curtains and Eat Cheese Toasties in My Pyjamas For The Next Week…

Let me set the scene:

In she walks, well dressed but professional. Her hair and make-up are well done but not so immaculate that she looks over the top. She’s confident, you can tell by her stride that she knows what she’s doing. She exchanges banter in the lift with the girl who’s been sent to bring her to the interview room and she takes in her surroundings, wondering if she’ll become more familiar with them in the near future.

“Come through, please”

She walks into the room, smiles, shakes three hands and waits to be told to take a seat.

Questions, questions, questions.

She answers most of them with confidence, but admits that there are one or two questions that she’s found tricky.

She makes her presentation.

They lap it up.

They laugh in the right places, they clap, they ask if they can use her material for their own campaign in a ‘jokeybutkindofserious’ way

They’re all smiling.

One of them offers to show her back to the lift.

“You were great” she offers.

The woman tells her that she came across brilliantly, that she’d be perfect for the role, asks what’s her availability in terms of start dates?

She almost skips to her car.

“I’ve nailed it!” she thinks.

She goes home.

She waits.

And waits.

Waits.

Email.

“We regret to inform you…”

“Bollocks”, she thinks.

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Comments { 10 }

Feldspathoid Silicate Minerals are a Girl’s Best Friend…

By Mum's the Word on November 1, 2012 in All About ME!, Fashion...that's what I want., Opinion

A few months ago, someone on Facebook mentioned that they were looking at the Tiffany’s website and being the curious gal that I am, I sauntered over to have a nose.

After picking my jaw back up when I saw some of the prices (I know, naive of me, but I’m a simple gal with simple tastes), I noticed this:

This is the Elsa Peretti® Cabochon ring which retails for £1025. Let’s not be silly, I don’t have a spare grand to spend on the ring, but to be honest it’s not really the ring that’s the appeal, it’s the stone. It’s called Lapis Lazuli and there’s something about the deep blue that really spoke to me. Then I did some reading up on it and found this on Wikipedia:

Lapis lazuli was being mined in the Badakhshan province of Afghanistan as early as the 3rd millennium BC,^[2] and there are sources that are found as far east as in the region around Lake Baikal in Siberia. Trade in the stone is ancient enough for lapis jewelry to have been found at Predynastic Egyptian and ancient Sumerian sites, and as lapis beads at neolithic burials in Mehrgarh, the Caucasus, and even as far from Afghanistan asMauritania.

I don’t know why, but this made me want it even more, something about the age of it and the earthiness. I know we’re all supposed to go mad for diamonds, pearls and all the other shiny, sparkly gems but I’d take Lapis Lazuli over them any day of the week. I’m SO not a diamonds girl. I know they’re like, well valuable and stuff, but I just don’t see the appeal. Even it I was a trilliontiaire, I wouldn’t be dripping with diamonds and jewels. It’s almost like this stone has character…oh, I don’t know, I just know that it’s spoken to me and now I must have it!

There’s some great examples of jewellery made using Lapis Lazuli on Etsy, and I think this ring is my absolute fave:

Click the photo to link to the sellers page

I love the fact that it’s not quite perfectly round and at just over 80 quid, it’s a little bit more in my price range! Also, I have enormous man-hands, so I have to wear large rings, dainty ones just look daft on me!

So, is it just me who’s not all about the diamonds? I can’t be the only woman challenging the stereotype of anyone with a vagina swooning at the sight of strong covalent bonding between carbon atoms, surely?!

Comments { 0 }

How A Natural Weight Loss Supplement Left Me Needing Medication for Life

By Mum's the Word on September 20, 2012 in All About ME!, Health, Weightloss.

Kelp

Apologies for the slightly sensationalist title, I felt like a Daily Fail reporter for a second there, but I needed to grab your attention. I know that for every post like this, there’ll be a post extolling the virtues of the very same product, or a person who thinks that we all worry too much and shouldn’t restrict ourselves, but I was asked to share this story by the lovely Lisa at The Mummy Whisperer as she thinks this might help others. She’s passionate about helping Mums to reach their weight goals through healthy living and this post totally backs up her ethos.

Continue Reading →

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Me and My Boobs.

By Mum's the Word on September 9, 2012 in All About ME!, Personal, Weightloss.

Okay, here’s some background info.

I got my first bra when I was nine. I had to wear a bra for two years of primary school. I remember getting changed for P.E. for the first time after getting it and a girl in my class ran into the boys changing room and told the whole year that Jayne wears a bra. I was mortified, but that was the start of it all.

By the time I started senior school, my boobs were a C-cup. In year nine, I wore a double-D. In fact, my friends called me DeeDee for a while. Until they kept growing. By the time I left senior school, I had G-cup boobs. 16 and a G-cup. There were two Jaynes in my year (actually, one Jayne and one Jane) but if someone said ‘Ja(y)ne’ and they didn’t know which one, I’d invariably be described as ‘The One with the Boobs’. I put up with years of conversations with teenage boys who couldn’t tell you what I looked like from the neck up, but were familiar with every contour that nestled under my shirt.

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Comments { 10 }

babyhuddle List of the Day!

By Mum's the Word on August 31, 2012 in All About ME!, Maternity, Shopping

A list of maternity essentials that I created for babyhuddle has been featured as list of the day and I thought you lot might like to have a look.

“Pregnancy Essentials” on Babyhuddle

Comments { 0 }

Mummy’s Make Up

By Mum's the Word on August 30, 2012 in All About ME!, Style

EDIT: Although I started by tagging people, it’s just so flippin’ fun that I want everyone who wants to join in to be able to, without having to wait to be tagged, so if this takes your fancy get involved and tweet me the results! (@jaynecrammond)

Sausage decided this morning that she wanted to pretend to give me a make-over and I thought “what the heck!” and gave her free reign over my actual make up. These are the results…(click twice to enlarge the pic)

Despite encouraging Sausage to add as much as she like, she was actually quite muted…I expected to look like a clown! Her blending skills leave something to be desired and I got poked in the eyeball with a mascara wand but I think she’s done well, all things considered.

So, now it’s a challenge!

I’m going to tag some other bloggers who have to let their kids loose on them with the contents of their make up bags! The rules are:

You must offer them everything you have in your bag (except scissors or eyelash curlers, obviously!)
You must not influence colours or products being used
You must not help with technique
The photo you take after must be unedited and you cannot do any blending or adding before snapping

So, who are my ~~victims~~ participants going to be?

Well, I’ve actually had a slew of willing volunteers who want to get involved, so it’s over to you, ladies:

Minty from Waterbirth Please

Susanne from Ghostwriter Mummy

Laura from The Mummy Life

Lauren from The Real Housewife of Suffolk County

Maggie from Life at the Zoo

Fi from Childcare is Fun

Sian from The Yummy Mummy

Pippa from A Mother’s Ramblings

Nickie from I Am Typecast

I cannot wait to see the results!