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Your Hoard May Be Worth More Than You Think!

By Mum's the Word on May 16, 2013 in Happiness

I am a self-confessed sentimental lunatic.

I am married to another self-confessed sentimental lunatic.

“What does that mean?” I hear you ask.

Well, I’ll tell you. I means that we hoard. Husband and I are absolutely terrible when it comes to placing emotional value on inanimate objects, which means that when decluttering our very storage-less house, we struggle.

“Oh no, we can’t get rid of that scrap of paper, Sausage might have breathed near it for two seconds last Tuesday!” is not an entirely unrealistic sentence to hear uttered in our house during spring cleaning bouts.

One thing that we did take a stand on recently though, was our media collection. The majority of what we watch and listen to is stored on very large harddrives on Husband’s PC, which is served to the main TV, Sausage’s TV, the iPad and the Nexus 7 via a wireless media server, meaning that we save space and have really flexible entertainment options in the house. What it also meant is that I could sell my old DVDs

That’s where Music Magpie came in. The website is super easy to use, we literally just spent an evening holding barcodes up to the webcam on my laptop, and we made over £50. Some of the items were only worth 50p, some of our rarer ones were worth slightly more but all of them were worth more than they were by just sitting on our shelf and taking up space! We printed off the forms, boxed them up and waited for the courier to collect them and it really was as easy as that. There are even smartphone apps which allow you to do the same thing using your device’s camera.

We’ve made ourselves some money, created some space on our shelves and ultimately helped the environment by preventing our rubbish from ending up in landfill. One man’s rubbish is another man’s treasure and all that!

Comments { 1 }

More! Magazine – The End of an Era

By Mum's the Word on April 23, 2013 in Happiness, Parenting, Personal

This afternoon, I heard the news that More! magazine is ceasing publication after reader numbers have dwindled to an all-time low, and I have to say, I was a little bit saddened. As a teen, More! was about as edgy as it got when it came to reading material and my friends and I spent many a bus journey giggling at ‘Position of the Fortnight’ or reading in horror about peoples embarrassing experiences, usually involving a boy they fancied.

My Mum hated me reading More!, she saw the candid accounts of teenage sexuality as over-exposure for my young mind and often told me that I wasn’t allowed to buy it. I did, of course, and hid it in my locker at school or buried at the bottom of a school bag. Now that I’m a mother, I straddle the fence on the appropriateness of it for a 13-year-old, however I also think that there’s a huge amount of positivity to it too.

More! was the closest thing that we ever had to a ‘lad’s mag’, meaning that instead of wide-eyed patronisation, or flat-out saccharine coated ignorance, it addressed the issue of teenage girls being sexual creatures. Regardless of how much we’d like to deny it once we become parents, teenage girls are hormone-fuelled randy beasts in the same way that their male counterparts are and More! taught us that that’s not something to be ashamed of. To my mind, it empowered girls to have a say in sex, not just think that they had to lay back and think of England, but be an active and conscious participant. The problem pages taught us about thrush and STDs and contraception and hair in unwanted places and didn’t make us feel stupid for asking.

Magazines like More! are often held up as contributing towards the over-sexualisation of children, but I refute that and would argue that giving girls an honest education (over and above the sterile account they are fed in Sex-Ed classes) about the realities of sex is contributing to giving them confidence and agency over their own bodies. Perhaps giving them the confidence to say NO when it really matters, or to speak up when something that’s supposed to be fun and pleasurable is actually uncomfortable and upsetting. What More! did best was instill a sense of humour and light-heartedness into subjects which can be tricky for young girls to navigate, which was invaluable to us at the time.

So, it’s with sadness that I say a fond farewell to More! magazine. I can only hope that there’s something out there to help girls and young women in the same way that More! helped us.

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Weight Loss, Body Shape, Blah, Blah, Blah…

By Mum's the Word on December 30, 2012 in All About ME!, Happiness, Health, Weightloss.

It’s an age-old debate that’s probably gone back for longer than we can imagine; the back-and-forth that surrounds what is considered to be aesthetically pleasing in a woman. For most of my life, it’s been targeted at fashion magazines and the media in general for touting ‘as-skinny-as-possible’ as the ‘ideal’. I’ve seen many a story about how this designer or that designer is using walking skeletons in their runways shows and how we’re creating generations of kids who refuse to eat.

Just recently, I’ve noticed social media getting in on the act with several photos doing the rounds concerning body shape and body image. Here’s a couple of them:

The image on the left is being posted with captions like “I wish I lived in a time when this was attractive” and the photo on the right speaks for itself. Another example of this latest trend is the focus on actresses such as Christina Hendricks who, if you don’t already know, looks like this:

The lady in the top left and Christina Hendricks are both gorgeous, there’s no denying it. But, do people really think that this is in ANY WAY more achievable than the skinny girls at top right? Let me tell you this – it’s not. Both of these women are voluptuous but that’s not down to diet or exercise (okay, it might be a bit down to diet and exercise). What you’re seeing here is GENETICS. Do you know how rare it is to find a true hourglass figure? Christine Hendricks and the lady above are both blessed in that they both have an ample bosom and a round bottom. Neither carries any weight on their face and very little on their arms or mid-sections. Unless they both spend hours in the gym doing only arm exercises or sleep with a facial Slendertone on, it’s doubtful that they managed to do this on purpose.

Now, let’s talk about the skinny girls. How about, they’re just naturally skinny? Granted, the one in the middle is very thin, but there are people in the world who just are, no matter how much we bitch and moan about it. The problem here isn’t the fact that some people are skinny and some people are curvy, it’s the pedestals they’re placed on. I read recently that Christina Hendricks is so fed up with interviewers asking her about her body, that she actually has her assistant pre-warn them that she won’t answer any questions on the subject.

I haven’t seen any magazine stands in the past few days but I’d bet my last tenner that every single one aimed at women has a headline featuring some sort of ‘New Year, New You’ ‘How to Lose 15lb in 10 days’ diet and exercise plan, and I bet they’re all coupled with a photo of a 21-year-old model who’s been in hair, make up and styling for hours then airbrushed to within an inch of her life.

I supposed I’m thinking about all of this because I do have a lot of changes to make in the New Year. I need to lose a considerable amount of weight and, most importantly, I need to get healthy. But, no matter how hard I try, I’m not going to look like a 50′s pin-up. I’m not going to look like Christina Hendricks and I’m definitely not going to look like a runway model. I’m hopefully going to look like a slimmer, healthier version of me, a 28-year-old woman whose belly has carried a baby, whose hips have been used for balancing a toddler on, whose arms have lugged a million loads of washing, whose face has the beginnings of laughter lines and who would be happy just to be able to play netball again.

I’m not aiming for magazine perfection – I’m just aiming for a better version of me and I think if everyone did that and ignored the so-called ‘ideals’ we’d all be a lot happier.

Comments { 8 }

Being Mum – The Self-Worth Special

By Mum's the Word on November 26, 2012 in Family, Happiness, Life

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my ‘worth’ as a person lately and how that ties in with me being a mother. It’s been an eventful year, this 12 past the 2000, kicking off with me losing my job in April and Sausage starting school in September, two things which have contributed massively to my introspection. When I was working, I was a ‘working mum’ – I did a job and kept home and life ran to a schedule, Tuesday to Thursday at least. Then I lost my job and I became a ‘stay-at-home mum’, using my days to spend time with Sausage and do things together. But now she’s at school, am I still a stay-at-home mum, considering that between the hours of 8.55am and 3.20pm, I have no one to mother?

On a totally base level, since losing my job my contribution towards family life has been much less. Sure, I’ve been available for more housekeeping, but I’m not actually adding to the family coffers and I’m acutely aware that every time I spend money it’s usually been earned by someone else. I do have a small amount of income but that tends to get swallowed up as soon as it comes in on car insurance and my phone bill. I was able to do so much more before and it made me feel good.

My self-worth is obviously closely related to what I perceive as my use to other people. I’m always offering to do things for people which are of no benefit to me, just to be the one who’s helped someone out, like I rack up ‘person points’ every time I offer help. I need to be needed. But I think I was like that before I ever became a parent.

As a mother, though, I know for a fact that I tend to put myself last in a lot of situations. Like mealtimes, for instance. If I’m cooking, Sausage gets her dinner first, then Husband and I tend to sit down rank last, after fetching drinks, condiments and all of the other mealtime accoutrements, with my meal being lukewarm more often than not. Don’t get me wrong, Husband often offers to do things, but I tend to insist he sits and eats while his food is hot and do the running around myself. So, does this mean that I put my worth at less than that of my family? Well, yes, I think I do. They deserve a nice meal, a hot meal, and if my is ruined well then so be it. It’s only me.

My Nan does something similar, bowing and scraping even when there’s no need for her to do so, and I don’t know if it’s always been this way but with her, her martyrdom seems to be something that’s done so that she has a reason to moan. Her and my Grandad have a highly toxic relationship and it’s hard to know what came first; the bitterness or the hatred. Does she hate him and it’s made her bitter or has her bitterness morphed into a ball of hatred? Who knows, but either way, she’ll act like a timid servant (or did before she got too blind and disabled to do it all) and then loudly slag my Grandad off for not moving out of his chair.

I certainly don’t feel bitterness or hatred about my self-imposed lower worth, but then to be fair, I’m 28, not 78 so what’s to say I won’t be a walking hate-factory in 50 years time? Fortunately, the difference is that I have Husband who is NOTHING like my Grandad and I feel appreciated by him and Sausage on a daily basis, and I also have a modicum of reflection in my soul, which means I can see that way my life could go if I allow it. I’m not saying I’ll serve my dinner first or stop being ketchup-wallah, but I will try to consider myself a bit more at times when I feel like I don’t deserve any consideration.

Am I making even the slightest bit of sense? TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN!

Comments { 8 }

Learning Burn Out?

By Mum's the Word on November 6, 2012 in Education, Happiness, Parenting

Now that Sausage has got past the anxieties that made her first few weeks at school difficult for her, she’s taking to it like the proverbial duck dipping his toes in the pond. She’s already on books with words, she has been for a few weeks in fact, and she’s excelling in just about every area. She’s even becoming more physical, something she’s been apprehensive of in the past because she’s not that confident when it comes to climbing or heights. All in all, it’s been a hugely positive experience for her and it seems only to be getting better.

If you read our review of the Jolly Phonics Home Kit, you’ll know that Sausage has also been coming home and wanting to do more learning. She’s given a new reading book once a week by her teacher, but this isn’t fulfilling her thirst for reading so she’s been attempting to read the books from her Dr. Seuss set too. On top of this, she’s been completing the exercise books that come with the Jolly Phonics kit, insisting on Husband and I holding word flashcards up for her to read, asking to practice writing and doing various things on my laptop and her Dad’s PC such as the Jolly Phonics CD-ROM.

Husband and I are both absolutely thrilled that she’s taking such a keen interest in learning and the increase in her confidence has been phenomenal, but we’re also both worried. The thing is, she’s only four and while we’re happy to encourage education it’s difficult to know when to say ‘enough is enough’.

This evening, Sausage was at her exercises until almost 8pm, having already done writing practice and some number work. She’s done a full days school and then probably up to 2 hours of extra work, which is the same amount of work that I was set to do at home each evening at my very academically focussed secondary grammar school. In saying ‘no’, are we limiting her or at risk of alienating her or putting her off? By letting her fill her boots, are we at risk of letting her burn out or lose interest? I just don’t know.

It’s a real noodle-scratcher, this one, and I fear it’s one of those things that we’ll only know by letting it run its course and adapting as we go. Hey, just like pretty much every other aspect of parenting, then, yeah?!

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Something About Doors Closing and Windows Opening…

By Mum's the Word on October 17, 2012 in Family, Happiness, Life

I can finally stop being cryptic.

That thing that I was feeling too superstitious to talk about? Well, it was a job. A great job. My dream job. And it involved moving home.

The position was as a Digital Editor for a new magazine with a major publishing company and it was based in the West Country. I didn’t know if I was suitable, but I applied for the job just for shits and giggles. But they must’ve liked me because I made it to the next stage and they asked me to do the second part of the application process, which was submitting a schedule for a weeks worth of content for the site and a full work-up of one day’s worth of posts and social media.

“This has got me written all over it”, I thought.

And I really bloody enjoyed it. It was stressful as I wanted it SO badly, but the creative process was amazing and I really got a kick out of it.

As I said, it would have also involved a relocation, so I spent hours perusing houses in Bath, imagining life in a new city, I even picked out a school for Sausage. In my head, I was there.

I sent it all off and waited. And waited…

When I started this process, Sausage was having a bad time at school and the thought of being able to whisk her off to somewhere new and change everything was really appealing. Then she started enjoying it, the tears dried up and she settled in and I started to have doubts about whether I could inflict this upheaval on her if it came to it. I concluded that no, I probably couldn’t.

I’d be asking so much of my family. Sure, Husband works for himself and could technically do it from everywhere but I’d be asking them both to move away from all of their family and friends, just for me. Not to mention that I’d be moving all this way, then working full time hours. It was too much.

Then, yesterday, I got this (this is an abridged version of the original email):

Dear Jayne

Thank you for your application for the role of Digital Editor. We apologise for the delay in contacting you with an update on your application and the outcome of your task. I am afraid that due to unforeseen circumstances this role has been withdrawn due to business reasons and we are no longer recruiting for this role.

We appreciate the time you have spent on your application and the task and apologise for any inconvenience caused.

We felt that you had good skills that would be suitable for a role with us and would be really keen to hear from you again for further Digital Editor roles or other positions that we may have in the future.

Thank you for your interest and we wish you all the best in your employment search.

BEST. CASE. SCENARIO.

I didn’t get the job. But not because I’m not good enough, because there is no job. This means that I don’t have to ask my family to relocate, I don’t have to cause them upheaval and I don’t have to make the decision to NOT do these things either. It didn’t work out, but I don’t have to feel like my confidence has been knocked. It’s not me, it’s them. And I’m fine with that.

My Bath dream may be no more, but I’m happy. And what’s more important is that Sausage and Husband get to carry on being happy too. I also have an interview for a local job which is something totally different to anything I’ve done before but I’m excited about it and it would be great for our family.

(On a different note, as you can see, my skills for digital editing are clearly BRILLIANT, so if you know anyone who’s recruiting, do let me know!)

Comments { 3 }

Extreme Makeover – Doll’s House Edition

By Mum's the Word on September 17, 2012 in Family, Happiness, Parenting

Soon to be ‘Sausage’s House’

A few months ago, I wrote about my Nan and Grandad, Rene and John, and about the doll’s house they made for me from scratch. This is what I wrote:

“It was in this shed that Grandad made my doll’s house. This dolls house was better than any that I have ever, to this day, seen in a shop.

The walls were covered with brick-dust and individually pointed with white paint, each brick lovingly created by Grandad’s patient hand. Every room had an electric light with its own light switch, powered by a big battery compartment, hidden under the roof. The roof had individual tiles, cut out of a terracotta coloured lino. The rooms were carpeted and a proper staircase ran through the middle of the house. Then came Nanny Rene’s work, individually made curtains, duvets, light shades and linen, all in coordinating colours.

Continue Reading →

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Get Running – Day Three

By Mum's the Word on September 4, 2012 in Get Running, Happiness, Weightloss.

I realised that I should have been cataloguing the actual course of runs, so starting today, here’s the info:

Week One, Run Three

1 minute of running followed by 1 1/2 minutes of brisk walking, eight times with five minutes warm up and cool down.

You know that expression; “sorting the wheat from the chaff”? Well, I’ve decided that’s what running does to the body (bear with me here, it’s a bit of a strained metaphor but it’s late and I’m having a rare bout of insomnia so my brain may not be on full power). So, the wheat would be my knees, lungs, leg muscles – these are the bits that all seem to be working well, much to my surprise and don’t seem to be giving me any jip. Hips and neck muscles – well, they would be the chaff.

During todays’ run, which is the last one of the first week, my neck went into spasm around 30 seconds into run five and I had to spend the rest of the runs holding my right arm up. I’m actually due to have my first round of physio this week as I have a long-running problem with my neck and back, exacerbated by the weight of my stupidly ample boobage, and although I’m already wearing a Shock Absorber, I may have to look into other sports bras.

Speaking of attire, I was lucky enough to be sent some running tights and a t-shirt by Sports Direct last week. I’ve not worn the t-shirt yet as it’s still a bit snug, but I wore the tights today and they were a godsend. Although they’re full length, they kept me really cool. I’ve been wearing various jogging bottoms up til now and I find myself pulling them up at the waistband every 20 seconds, but I didn’t have to hike the tights up even once while I was running. It’s amazing just how much difference it can make to your comfort to not have to think about silly things like baggy bottoms!

So anyway, the actual running – I have to say, I’m really surprised by how quickly my level of fitness has improved in just three short workouts. Todays run was exponentially easier than the first and second and I found myself less out of breath after each one. I really am starting to enjoy it and I have my route down pat now too, which really helps. I’m actually looking forward to going out for my next run, especially as Get Running is going to move on to week two, where I’ll have to run for a minute and a half each time!

Thanks to anyone who has read and commented on these posts so far, it really means a lot to have support from you all.

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Get Running – Day Two

By Mum's the Word on August 30, 2012 in Get Running, Happiness, Weightloss.

So, yesterday was a rest day and today was the second run of week one. I have to say, even since Tuesday, things seem to be easier. My recovery time between each one minute run was shorter and I didn’t fall through the door gasping for water this time. I’ve been making sure I stretch before and after and I have a cool shower as soon as I get home (after cooling down properly) and I don’t even seem to be too achey.

The thought that today was easier than the first was actually really motivating as I kept thinking “Well, if today was easier, think how easy Saturday will seem!”. I don’t know if, in reality, that will be the case but it’s certainly a positive way to think about the whole thing and really helped me, mentally.

As I’m new to all of this, I didn’t want to have “all the gear and no idea”, like so many people do where they embark on a new hobby and go out and spend a load of cash on things the need but which just gather dust once they give up in a week. However, I’ve decided that if I’m to carry on, I want to invest in a couple of things. Luckily, Husband bought me a decent pair of trainers a couple of years ago which I’ve hardly used, they’re Nike and seem like a good match for my feet, so that’s not something I need to spend on. What I do need is some new headphones. As I said in my last post, the ones that come with the iPhone are both rubbish at staying in and quite honestly make me feel like a running mugger’s delight, I kept my hood up today to cover them up.

I also want one of those elastic bands that I can attach to my glasses to hold them on. Yes, I’ll look a knob, but there’s nothing more distracting than having to push your glasses up every five seconds (except maybe pushing rubbish iPhone headphones back in my ears)…and don’t even suggest contact lenses. Just don’t.

So far, I’ve been wearing jogging bottoms and one of Husband’s t-shirts, which is fine, but I’d like some actual dedicated running clothes. It’s going to be winter soon, so something thermally efficient would be awesome. Oh yeah, and maybe one of those water bottles you can hold while you’re running.

Not too much to ask, I don’t think?!

Comments { 1 }

Get Running – Day One

By Mum's the Word on August 29, 2012 in Get Running, Happiness, Weightloss.

Yesterday was the first time I used my Get Running app and this is what I learned:

1. A minute of running can seem like an hour

2. A minute and a half of walking can go by in the blink of an eye

3. A male, un-neutered dog on a lead can be a perilous running companion, especially if it’s midday and there are a load of other dogs around.

4. Feeling your stomach jiggle with every footfall can be mighty off-putting

5. Ministry of Sound Funky House Classics is a great running album for tempo and taking your mind off of jiggling stomachs.

6. Run number 7 of eight runs is definitely the hardest.

7. I should probably take my inhaler with me next time.

8. You never feel like you deserve a nice shower more than when you’ve worked up a sweat by exercising.

9. Husband pointed out before I left that the lady talking you through the Get Running app sounds like Hattie Hayridge, and imagining that I’m being coached by Holly from Red Dwarf is a great distraction.

10. iPhone headphones are absolutely SHIT for running and fall out of your ears at least 5 times a minute.

11. I need some sort of strap to hold my glasses on because having to push them up my nose every two seconds is a massive embuggerance.

12. I actually quite like running!