Parenting · Personal

No Kids Allowed?

No Kids Allowed?

Okay, anyone who is of faint-heart may want to turn away now. Because I have something to say, and it may not be pretty or delicate. It’s something I feel strongly about and if this turns into a rant, don’t blame me, you were warned!

I would really, really like to know; why do people have children if they don’t like spending time with them? I was reading a post from a fellow blogger this morning, where she talks about taking her family on a skiing holiday, and one of her friends told her that with the day care and classes for kids, she’d barely have to see her kids whilst away. As you’ll see if you read the original post, Mediocre Mum had no intention of palming her kids off to strangers for the whole holiday, but the fact that it was said, so out of hand, like children are just accessories, dragged out when we need them, kind of got on my nerves.

The thing is, here’s where the grey area starts. Working mums: okay by me (and I don’t mean that in an ‘I’m the Queen of the World, be happy that you have my endorsement’, arrogant kind of way. Please be aware that this is all just OPINION and you are entitled to your own). If you need to work to keep your family going, then that’s a no-brainer. I also think that any parent is entitled to a break once in a while, should they feel they need it, no-one can be ‘ON’ 24/7/365, that would just lead to a world of frazzled, useless parents. But I just don’t get parents who take any opportunity to be away from their child. When did parenting stop being a joy? And if we aren’t interesting in raising our kids ourselves, why have them in the first place?

If you’ve read my blog before, you’ll be aware that I am a clingy mum. I’m not ashamed to say it, when I’m away from Sausage, I feel like I’m missing a limb. In the two years since Sausage was born, I’ve been away from her only a handful of times, which include half a dozen trips to a pub or bar with friends (on birthdays etc.), two trips to the hairdressers, and a two-day hospital stay which made me feel as though my heart was being forced down into my stomach. On each of these occasions, there wasn’t a minute that passed which wouldn’t have been improved by the presence of my daughter. This doesn’t mean that I don’t want to see my friends or socialize. I would just rather be with Sausage at all times.

From what I can gather from other people, I am the odd one out. Most people say that they like a ‘break’ every once in a while, a chance to be an adult again and do the things that they did in their former lives. But for me, when I made the decision to become a parent, I let go of any former versions of myself. I became a parent, which is a role that I see as all-encompassing. I’m sure people who read this, and maybe people who know me in real life, will think that all of this is a bit potty, that I’m an obsessive mother. But again, I will make no apologies. That is the way I have chosen to raise my daughter.

And really, it’s not the ‘break, once in a while’ parents who I don’t understand. It’s the ‘work full-time, leave my kids in daycare, then spend the weekend doing child-free activities’. I’m hoping that my readers can weigh-in on this and let me know their views. Do you feel the same, or have my words made your blood boil? Are you as-yet childless, but planning to do things a certain way? I’d really like to hear any opinions you have.

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