What’s in a name?

What's in a name?

When I was pregnant with Sausage, I think I drove my husband a little bit mental with the name-choosing process. I pretty much ruled out any name which already belonged to anyone I had ever known, save for the potential of naming her after a relative. I also ruled out any names which gave her ridiculous initials, rhymed with anything which could be used against her (probably from years of being called Jayne the Pain/Bane/Drain by idiots with limited wit) or belonged to a celebrity who I found objectionable. I also ruled out any names which I felt may be prohibitive to her as an adult. Nobody wants to be treated by a Doctor or represented by a Lawyer with an overly twee name like Precious, surely?!

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Opinion · Personal

Facebook is Making Me Die Inside

I have a bit of a Facebook problem. I spend far too much time checking my Facebook, time when I should be, you know, parenting Sausage or doing housework or something. I’m more than happy to admit that my main motivation for having a Facebook page is my innate nosiness. I love to look at other people’s pictures, read snippets of what’s going on in their lives.

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My Overactive Guilt Gland


I should probably have been born a Catholic.

Nah, screw that, I’m far too lethargic/apathetic to remember to pray all the time and go to church every week.

But I do have a guilt complex of which a Catholic would be proud.

I feel guilty about EVERYTHING.

You know when you eat a can of baked beans? If I leave even one bean in the can when I empty it into the saucepan (oh alright, microwave dish, I’m not shit-hot enough at being a wife and mother to use metal saucepans to heat things in. But I digress…) I feel actually properly guilty about leaving that one bean, alone. Alone and unable to fulfill its life purpose as a baked bean, which is to be eaten by my child.

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Humour · Parenting

Things You Never Think About…Until You Become a Parent

Things You Never Think About…Until You Become a Parent
  • Note to self; I must remember that Sausage has been eating lumps of red Play Doh, before I change her nappy and panic about all the red bits in her poo.
  • Hmm, I wonder if there’s a more practical way to deal with an attached child than to have them actually sitting on your lap while you pee?
  • Oh, wow, she moved over a bit, that means I now have FOUR WHOLE INCHES of my kingsize bed, all to myself!
  • I wonder if I can cut her hair/fingernails/toenails while she’s asleep, so I can avoid being kicked in the teeth/stabbed?
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Humour · Parenting

A list of people who I might allow to read my child a bedtime story. Or, an open letter to Shane Ritchie.

Richard Briers

Richard Briers - bedtime story

I’ll admit it, I’m a enormous fan of The Good Life and I often have it on while I fall asleep, so it’s a bit like a bedtime story in itsefl! I also have machinations of one day being just like Tom and Barbara (but it would be an awful lot of effort, doing all that work and maintaining that impish charm and Cheltenham Girls College accent, wouldn’t it?)

Richard Briers is the man who EVERYONE wants as their Grandad, isn’t he? Such a kindly old so-an-so, with a perfect voice for narration, to boot!

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Collecting Straws


Photo by Vlad Chețan

My husband is one of those people who knows everything.

Not in a douchey “I’m a know-it-all” kind of way, he’s just got one of those amazing brains which stores an unfathomable amount of stuff. Couple that with an overactive thirst for knowledge and he knows a lot. He’s the kind of guy you want on your team at a pub quiz.

So, the other day, he was doing some reading about various different philosophies relating to anger and he came across the phrase “collecting straws”.

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Health and Beauty · Personal

“Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.”

“Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.”

I had a dream.

Not a particularly profound one, in the great big Dr. King scheme of things, but it really shook me up.

I should probably set the scene.

On Monday, I spent the afternoon cooking. I made a chicken soup from the chicken that was leftover from the previous days roast, and I also made a beef stew as we had company coming for dinner on Tuesday (and besides, I always think a stew tastes better the day after you cooked it). Oh and I also attempted to make bubble and squeak from the veg, also leftover from the roast.

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Toddler Sleep – Something’s COT to give…

Co-sleeping is sometimes the best way for everyone to get some sleep.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-throw-pillow-and-blanket-on-a-white-crib-7937988/

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk

So, after my post about Sausage sleeping in our bedroom, our situation has now officially morphed into a co-sleeping one. For the last week or so, Sausage’s sleep has been very fitful. On the worst night I was up with her FIVE times. We’ve come to the conclusion that it’s her cot that’s causing the issues with sleep.

Sausage is a serious wriggler in her sleep, which means she spends more time on top of her duvet, than actually under it. I’m a pretty light sleeper these days and I hear the ‘rustle-rustle-thump’ which means that she’s successfully managed to extricate her legs from the covers about 5 times a night. The trouble is, it’s getting colder. When she would kick her duvet off in the summer, it wasn’t a big deal, she runs quite hot anyway, so she was generally okay. But a couple of nights ago she was actually calling out “I’m coooold” in her sleep. So Husband and I have been up and down like the preverbial yo-yo, covering her over and tucking her in.

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Parenting · Personal

There were three in the bed, and the little one said…

Do you co sleep with your little ones?

…well, not literally in the same bed, but the same bedROOM.

You see, Sausage still sleeps in the same room as Husband and I. Well, okay, sometimes she’ll sleep in our bed, too!

I say ‘still’…as far as I’m concerned, she can sleep in our room until she can say “Mummy, I’m sick of listening to you and Daddy snoring”. But I’ve noticed lately a few ‘looks’ if it comes into conversation with other parents. We’re aware that most two-year-olds sleep in their own room, in fact plenty of parents put their kids straight into a nursery, but Husband and I were never able to do that.

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